The thin Line
by Rei6
Summary: Hard to summarize. Chronicle of a tragedy, I guess . . . 1+2, 1+R


**Fandom**: Gundam Wing

**Warnings**: drama, angst, violence, death, confusing, weirdness, disgustingly sappy in the end, possibly OOC-ness, mentions of past yaoi (well, _mentions_, mind you!) 

Relena-sympathetic, but for all you Relena-haters out there: she ends up in a mental hospital, happy? 

Most likely tons of grammar and spelling mistakes – this fic is not betaed and I´m no native english speaker. I´m really, really sorry, if my english is too annoying. Gomen!

**                                                         The Thin Line**

People say there is a thin line between love and hate.

They are wrong.

There is no line at all. There is nothing in between.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**23. 12. 198 AC (Earth)**

**(Newspaperclipping from the Sank Kingdom Times)**

Yesterday evening a suspect in the Sank Kingdom City Prison commited suicide. He had been arrested in the aftermath of the horrible tragedy taking place in the villa of Vice Foreign Minister Relena Peacecraft three days ago. The police is still investigating at the moment.

The suspect confessed his crime less hours before he comitted suicide with a razor blade. Where he had gotten it is still unsolved at the moment …

***********************

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**16. 12. 198 AC. (Earth)**

**Letter from Quatre Raberba Winner to Trowa Barton**

We arrived yesterday. I didn´t remember it could be so cold on earth. Well, it can. It´s freezing outside. Sigh, you know how much I hate the cold. 

Why did I come? I keep question me that every minute.  

Okay, I do know why I came. Because Duo begged me to. He looked at me with that look. You know? _That_ look when I definetely know there´s something wrong, really really wrong.  It frightened me. Still do … 

So that´s why. And still ... I don´t know why he wanted me to come _at all. It´s not that I´m much of a help for __anyone._

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**3. 04. 212 AC. (L-1 - Colonie)**

**(Mental Asylum)**

(Subject: Darlian, Relena)

(Time: 3.07 pm.)

(Physician: Dr. Ward)

"I was outside today, you know? I´m glad there´s finally spring. I hate winter. I hate snow and I hate the damn coldness. The coldness is cutting me. Right through the bones. Sometimes I freeze so much that I almost forget how it feels when you´re warm. It´s always cold. I´m wearing three pullovers right now ... and still I´m cold. Strange isn´t it? I think I´ll probably never get warm again. 

Outside it´s beautiful. There are flowers everywhere now. Yellow and red ones. 

(pause)

He couldn´t stand yellow flowers.

It´s not that he hated them or something like that, he just couldn´t stand seeing them. They always made him sad. Every time he came to me I had to remove all the yellow flowers. It made him think of the war again and the killing and all the dead people. So he only came in the winter when there were no flowers outside anymore.

He didn´t hate flowers in general. I think he liked the most of them. See, he gave me roses once in a while. Red roses. He gave me always red roses. He always smiled then and I knew he liked giving them to me as much as I liked receiving them. He sended me red roses for my birthday every year. He didn´t come though. My birthday is in midsummer, you know, and he never visited me in the summer.

(pause)

I never get to know though what it was with the yellow flowers ... "

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**22. 12. 198 AC. (Earth)**

**(3. 17 pm)**

**(Sank Kingdom City Prison)**

(Suspect: Duo Maxwell)

(Defense Counsel: Henry J. Steinberg)

(Taperecorded Interview with the defendant)

"My name is ... 

You can call me Duo Maxwell, I think. It´s as good as any other name. It really doesn´t matter anymore ...  

I was born on the L-2-Colony 180 AC. Don´t ask for the exact date, I don´t know it and I´m not sure if there are any records about my birth. I highly doubt it. They don´t have records about every little street rat. 

I joined the war 194 AC. It was 195 AC – during the war - when I met Quatre Raberba Winner and Relena Peacecraft for the first time. And I met him ... 

(pause)

He was my partner. It´s a funny story, you know? We started out hating each other and were even fighting against each other and somehow along the way we became ...

(pause)

... friends. 

I never thought it would happen, we were the most different kind of personality one can imagine. We were complete opposites. 

But then again ... he was as lost as I was. He never had a family just like me. And his name was not his own, just like mine ... 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**17. 12. 198 AC. (Earth)**

**Mail from Quatre Raberba Winner to Trowa Barton**

It´s getting worse. 

It didn´t think it could get any worse but obviously I was wrong. The house is huge and really beautiful and Relena is all nice and sunshine and trys to make us as comfortable as possible, but still I have a sense of foreboding like I never had before. 

Duo is on the verge of something – I might say a nervous breakdown. Sometimes he totally spaces out on me and doesn´t move or speak for hours. And he laughs too much. Too much and too loud and too hysterical. He scares me. I feel like I have to take him out of here as fast as humanly possible. I shouldn´t have allowed him to come here at all. But he seems to believe that this Christmas is like the last chance he will get … or something …

You and I know what happened between Heero and Duo during the war.   

Something that never stopped – no matter how hard Heero pretend it did. No matter ... that Heero is with Relena now ...

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**07. 04. 212 AC (L-1 – Colonie)**

**(Mental Asylum)**

(Time: 3. 04 pm)

(Subject: Darlian, Relena)

(Physician: Dr. Ward)

"He tried to kill me once. Well, more than once. Actually quiet the times, but I never minded it though. Strange, isn´t it? But I never feared him. He was just so lost ...   so sad ...

I always saw when he was sad. Well, he was always sad, but sometimes it was worse than others. 

It could happen anytime, right in the middle of a conversation or while we were eating or going for a walk. Then he became totally stiff all of the sudden, nearly froze and his breath became shallower. It seemed to hurt him when he moved and when he breathed. It was as if everything would hurt him, would touch him on pure flesh. As if to _be_, simply to exist would hurt too much to bear.

I wish I could have helped him. But he never let me touch him when he was like that. 

Then again … it´s not like he let me touch him very often at all ... 

(pause)

See, you could be together with him in one room, live with him, sleep in one bed and still be starving. For something. Anything. For human contact. His presence could froze you to death. That was his everlasting curse. 

He always made that people craved for more, wanted more from him than he was able to give."

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**22. 12. 198 AC. (Earth)**

**(Sank Kingdom City Prison) **

"Where have I been at the 20. 12. 198 AC? I was there. Of course I was there. Where else should I have been at that bloody day? I was in Relenas fuckin´ winter residence. Not that she was too glad about it ... 

But she couldn´t kick me out either without losing her reputation as great hostess, now couldn´t she? Besides I had Quatre with me and she would never throw him out. She always had a soft spot for that guy.

Poor Quatre ... 

(pause)

See, it was me who begged him to come. He didn´t wanted to and was not very comfortable from the beginning on, being in one house with me ... and her ... and him. I can´t blame him. He knew everyone of us and I dare say he really loved each one of us. We were his best friends ... and he had to see how we came to hate each other during that days. Now I know it must have killed  him inside.

(pause)

It was cold. You have no guess about how cold it was that day. It was so cold that the cellar windows broke and shattered because they were frozen. It was so cold that people outside died. The princess herself woke us this morning and told us we were snowed in and nothing were able to reach or leave the house. 

You call this a prison? Don´t make me laugh. You have no idea what a prison is as long as you were never snowed in in that damn house along with Relena Peacecraft and Heero Yuy."

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**18. 12. 198 AC (Earth)**

**Mail from Quatre Raberba Winner to Trowa Barton**

Heero is acting strange lately. Strange even for Heero.  

I was kinda avoiding him for the last days, you know why. It´s hard to forgive him when you see how Duo´s slowly going insane from the pain. Sometimes … I think I hate Heero for what he did … 

Well, back to his strange behaviour. Out of the blue he started to ask me questions yesterday. Weird questions. Suddenly he stood beside me in the living room, starring at me and asked me if I´d believe in atonement. I answered that I didn´t understand what he meant. Then he said (and I will never forget the look in his eyes while he said it):

"Atonement. Making sacrifices to pay for your sins."

I said that I don´t believe in atonement. 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**12. 04. 212 AC (L-1 – Colonie)**

**(Mental Asylum)**

(Time: 3. 22 pm)

(Subject: Darlian, Relena)

(Physician: Dr. Ward)

"I´m late today, aren´t I? 

Sorry. I didn´t remember what day we have. That´s because I forget everything. Sometimes I wake up ... and it´s hard for me to remember where I am ... and who.

People say it´s not good to forget everything, but I don´t agree. It´s about the pain, you know? Pain …

He didn´t forget anything.

He knew every face, every body, every city, every colony, every soldier – everyone and everything he ever destroyed or killed. That was his pain. He couldn´t forget.  

Sometimes he told me it was me. _I_ would permit him to forget. That I reminded him ...   But I´m not sure if that´s a good thing. 

I keep question me if … he didn´t hated me because of that … I´m not sure …

I think, I reminded him of someone he killed. It must have hurt him a lot, when he woke up screaming every night, don´t you think? 

But he never told me who it was …

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**22. 12. 198 AC (Earth)**

**(Sank Kingdom City Prison)**

"Yeah, I remember. I remember everything. Why do people keep question me that? As if I could ever forget it ...

I even remember the damn cristall glasses Relena used for breakfast. It was pervers ... somehow ... all the people dying outside from the cold and us sitting inside in front of silver plates and cristall glasses ... 

But then again ... it was fitting, right? Everyhing was glass. The people ... the conversation ... the silence ... as if it would shatter if you touch it.

No, we didn´t have an argument during breakfast. It was silent. Only silent. Nobody spoke one word as if we were afraid to do so ... Not even Relena with her everlasting small talk and overboarding sense of hospitality.

Heero ... he left and took Relena with him. He said he had something important to talk with her.

It was approximately twenty minutes later when I left the dining room. After that …? I went to my room I think. 

No wait ... I went to Heeros room ...    

(pause)

I was ... I was angry. Sad … and angry. But I hadn´t the intention to harm him in any way. Never! I just ... wanted to talk to him. 

His room was on the second floor, right beside Relenas. The door was already open and I looked in. Relena wasn´t there anymore. I don´t know what the important conversation was about, but appearantly it was already over.

He … he stood in front of the window and starred outside, his back facing me. 

He just stood there, one hand on the window glass … and held something in his other hand. It was something small, shimmering – like a jewel … and he starred at it every now and then. 

He didn´t hear me. I wanted to say something, anything ... but I just couldn´t ... 

I just continued standing there … starring at him … while he continued standing there … starring at the snow …

Right now … I wish I had … I should´ve done something … say something … just tell him … that I didn´t hate him … never have … never will …

(pause)

"Do you need some water?"

"…"

"A break?"

" … "

"We can pause if you want."

"… no."

"Continue, please."

"He just ... stood there ... and starred outside ... and was so far ... far away ... like he wouldn´t come back … ever.

(pause)

That was the moment when I took his gun."

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**19. 12. 198 AC (Earth)**

**Mail from Quatre Raberba Winner to Trowa Barton**

Duo tried to slit his wrists yesterday evening. 

He wasn´t able to do it since I found him just in time to prevent the worst. He was drunk and doesn´t remember today ... but I - I´m so scared. It´s wrong. Everything is so wrong. We´re living in a powder keg and I just don´t know when it will blow up our faces.

Heero keeps question me weird things. He talked about that little girl again … 

The little girl he killed during the war. Then he talked about Duo. And he asked if he hates him now … I just didn´t know what to answer.

And suddenly out of the blue he starred at me with a look in his eyes that positively freaked me out and asked: 

"Would you sacrifice everything in order to pay for your sins?"

I answered again, that I don´t believe in Atonement.

He asked me in what I believe.

I said, that I believe in absolution.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**09. 04. 212 AC (L-1 – Colonie)**

**(Mental Asylum)**

(Time: 3. 02 pm)

(Subject: Darlian, Relena)

(Physician: Dr. Ward)

"I hate the dark. I always sleep with the light on, you see. I can´t bear being alone in the dark. 

In the past I was never alone, because he was there and protected me. He was always there. He said I was necessary to maintain the peace he had fought for. And that it was his duty to protect me and that he would sacrifice his life for me if he had to. I believed him. He never lied. He used to sleep in my room after the war, right beside my bed or sometimes in my bed. 

(pause)

He never touched me though.

He laid right beside me and at the same time was as far away from me as one could be. And I could do nothing when he woke up screaming again. 

He always had nightmares. 

I have nightmares, too, now. I didn´t understand him then. But now I do. You have nightmares when you´ve done something so terrible that you don´t deserve to live anymore. But you have to. That´s the punishment."

"Punishment? What for?"

"For your sins."

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**22. 12. 198 AC (Earth)**

**(Sank Kingdom City Prison)**

"After I took his gun  I went to the living room. 

I think I was not ... not all there, you know. I felt like walking in a dream. Unreal. I don´t know how much time passed. I heard the clock ticking behind me, but I couldn´t turn around. I couldn´t ... move ... I just watched the snow. Just ... like him. And I waited. I don´t know for what. I waited for something to happen … 

And I knew something would happen. Everything was about to shatter into pieces and fall apart. I felt it. And could do nothing. Just watch …

I wanted it to stop. Just stop. I had the burning urge to end it all … It felt like a dream … like a surreal nightmare … and I prayed I would wake up soon … wake up … or else I would loose my mind in this house.

Everything was just so wrong ... "

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**20. 12. 198 AC (Earth)**

**(Time: 2. 37 pm.)**

**Mail from Quatre Raberba Winner to Trowa Barton**

We are snowed in. We cannot leave the house. I know, I´m paranoid – but ... we are trapped! That´s the truth. We are prisoners in this house.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**13. 04. 212 AC (L-1 – Colonie)**

**(Mental Asylum)       **

(Time: 3. 04 pm)

(Subject: Darlian, Relena)

(Physician: Dr. Ward)

"Do you know what the opposite of love is? 

(pause)

It´s indifference. 

Funny, isn´t it? Everybody says it is hate, but hate is just a part of love. Indifference ... there´s no other feeling as far apart from love as this one.

That´s the worst thing somebody can tell you ... that he feels nothing for you.

That´s something that can destroy you completely. It makes you want to destroy other people, too … It makes you want to hurt somebody … 

I think … I hated him then …

He didn´t even hate me. He told me that day. He didn´t even hate me … 

He just felt ... nothing."

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**22. 12. 198 AC (Earth)**

**(Sank Kingdom City Prison)**

"It was around four or five as she came inside, I think. It was already getting dark outside.

She came and said my name."

"She?"

"Relena."

"Continue, please."

"She said my name and I turned around. And as I saw her face I already knew it was … over.

(pause)

It´s strange … you know … but even with all the things that stood between us … that happened between us … I never hated her. Weird, isn´t it? I didn´t hated her. 

There was no place for any other feelings … for any other people … besides him. 

I think, I didn´t hate her until this moment. 

She showed me her hand. There was a silver ... a silver ring on her finger. She just stood there and showed me her hand. And suddenly I knew what it was. It was the piece of jewelry, Heero had played with … and I knew what it meant.

Then she spoke.

´Leave.´ 

She said it like she was talking about her house, but I knew what she was really talking about … his life.

`You lost. He doesn´t want you.´

That was the only thing she said. Of course … I knew what it meant. He had made his choice. 

It was over … everything was over. 

You have no idea what it felt like. It felt like someone had ripped out a vital part of me … like I couldn´t breathe anymore … couldn´t live …

I don´t know what happened ... I ... 

... suddenly I had the gun in my hand ... 

(pause)

I was a little bit desperate back then … I wanted to kill her. 

I had the burning urge to kill her, to point the gun at her, aiming, pushing and ... watching her body falling to the ground ... watching the blood pooling around her ... and her eyes going glassy ...

(pause)

Suddenly I felt the cold steel pressing against my temple and I realized ... I was aiming at my own head."

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**20. 12. 198 AC (Earth)**

**(Time: 4. 24 pm.)**

**Mail from Quatre Raberba Winner to Trowa Barton**

Heero was here one minute ago. He just bursted into my room, pale as a ghost and asked: "Where´s Relena?" I didn´t know. He begged me to search for her and said if we wouldn´t find her something terrible would happen. He didn´t explained, he just said: "I told her." And then: "It´s not there anymore." 

I told him to calm down … and he just grabbed me and shook me and I thought he was going to yell at me, but as he spoke his voice was awfully quiet: "If it´s too late … if she has done something to him … I´m going to kill myself."

My chest is burning … it´s getting harder and harder to breathe … 

I told you, didn´t I? One of us won´t leave this house alive anymore …

I have to go now Trowa … 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**15. 04. 212 AC (L-1 – Colonie)**

**(Mental Asylum)**

(Time: 3. 07 pm)

(Subject: Darlian, Relena)

(Physician: Dr. Ward)

 "We talked about your "sins" the last times, Relena. Do you remember? Do you want to talk about these sins?"

"He gave me a ring once. See? This one. It´s beautiful, isn´t it? I always wear it. Always."

"What about the sins?"

"It´s silver. I like silver, it´s much more beautiful than gold, don´t you think?"

"Relena. What about the sins?"

"There´s something written on the ring. It´s engraved on the inside. I mustn´t read it. I know what it means. But I´m not allowed to read it."

"Why do you avoid so persistent talking about the sins, Relena?"

"The ring is the sin."

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**22. 12. 198 AC (Earth)**

**(Sank Kingdom City Prison)**

"Someone screamed. I think it was Quatre. I felt the trigger in my finger and it just felt ... right ... like the right thing to do ... pushing ... 

Suddenly I found myself falling. Someone had jumped me and pushed me to the ground. 

It was him.

We were tossing and turning around, fighting ... He yelled at me and tried to hold me down, but I was mad ... like an animal ... I ... didn´t listen ... I screamed and screamed … I couldn´t stop … I didn´t listen … I just tried to fight him off …

(pause)

Then the gun went off."

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**21. 12. 198 AC (Earth)**

**(Time: 3. 24 am.)**

**Letter from Quatre Raberba Winner to Trowa Barton**

Heero yelled his name, but Duo didn´t stop tossing. He seemed to be completely out of control. Finally Heero screamed:

"I won´t allow you to die! You are mine!"

It was the creepiest thing. Duo went limp in his arms and he started sobbing. He clung at Heero like a lifeline and Heero continued holding him, whispering always this. 

_Mine. Mine. Mine._

It seemed to be the only thing able to sooth him.

Like a prayer. And Duo whispered it back. 

Mine.

And then ...

Heeros head jerked back up and he turned around. He probabaly heard her … pushing the trigger … or maybe just knew her too well …

His eyes went wide and he pushed Duo down… 

I wasn´t able to reach her in time.

I knew it was over, the moment I heard the shot. 

Heero went stiff and sunk down on Duos chest, liveless. 

I was ... paralyzed all of the sudden ... My body was so numb … I couldn´t do anything at all … I just watched ...  

Watched Duo screaming his name ... grabbing his shoulders … shaking him ... Heero trying to speak … trying to breath … 

And during the whole time there came more and more blood. It just wouldn´t stop bleeding. It stained the whole carpet and soaked Relenas dress and my shoes and Duos hair … 

And then Relena dropped the gun and started to scream.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**22. 12. 198 AC (Earth)**

**(Sank Kingdom City Prison)**

"I shot him."

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**22. 12. 198 AC (Earth)**

**(Time: 5. 13 am.)**

**Letter from Quatre Raberba Winner to Trowa Barton**

Duo is in the prison. He begged me not to say anything at all. He said, he would care for everything and would tell them … and I should be quiet. He made me promise not to do anything and not to say anything at all.

I don´t know if I can keep that promise.

Relena totally lost it that night. She´s completely apatic, doesn´t speak and she doesn´t seem to recognize me or anyone since then. She´s in a hospital right now. 

And I …? I don´t know ... I don´t know anything anymore. Black is white and white is black. Right is wrong and wrong is right. All the time I thought ... Heero and Relena ...

But Heero died protecting Duo. He sacrified his life to save him. 

I know I sound cold and indifferent right now ... it´s too much. Simply too much. I can´t even cry. 

Isn´t that strange …? I feel like everything´s dead inside of me … and I can´t even cry …

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**22. 12. 198 AC (Earth)**

**(10. 57 pm)**

**Letter from Duo Maxwell to Quatre Raberba Winner**

If you get this letter, it´s already too late. Don´t torment yourself about what happened. Nothing of it is your fault. And I hope you can forgive me  …one day. For dragging you into this whole mess.

Ever since the day I met him … I knew it would somehow end this way. It was unavoidable. We were sliding towards the end right from the start and nothing would´ve been able to stop it. 

If you think about it, it´s kinda funny, isn´t it? Everything started out with me and him and Relena and a gun … That´s where everything begun … 

Doesn´t it seem appropriate for you that it had to end this way, too?

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**25. 12. 198 AC (Earth)**

**(Time: 23. 41 am.)**

**(Mental Asylum)**

"Try it, but it´s hopeless. I´m not even sure if she´ll recognize you. She is completely apatic since the incident. You can try, it won´t do any harm. But be warned. It may be very ... disturbing if you have known her before."

"Will she ever … ?"

"Come back to normal? I don´t know. Nobody knows. But to speak frankly … I highly doubt it. She´s only a shell left from her former self. You can go in now."

"Thank you, doctor.

Relena?"

"..."

"Relena? It´s me."

Finally she looked up. He shuddered under her empty gaze. 

Her face was completely blank and her eyes empty. She seemed to look through him as if he wouldn´t exist. A small trail of saliva run down her chin. She didn´t seem to notice.

"Relena." He repeated her name and tried to surpress the urge to turn around and run away as far apart and as fast as possible. But he couldn´t. 

The girl in fron tof him was the only person on earth who could give him the answer he searched for.

"Relena. It´s me. Do you remember me? My name´s Quatre Raberba Winner."

Finally something like recognition spread over her still blank face. She repeated his name slowly.

Then she smiled. It was a creepy, absent smile. 

"Beautiful, isn´t it?" She showed him her hand, her eyes still looking through him.

He nodded, unable to say something. Now where she finally started to speak, he wasn´t so sure, if he really wanted to know …

"It´s not mine, you know? But I can keep it until he comes and fetch it back."

"Who?" He croaked, feeling slightly nauseus. "Who will come? Heero?"

"Duo," she answered, still smiling.

"Duo …?" he repeated slowly. "But Heero bought it for you. Don´t you remember?"

"Heero bought it for Duo." 

"Heero bought it for you …" Quatre whispered. "For you. That´s what you said …" 

"Heero bought it for Duo." She sounded like a child, repeating something learned by heart. "But I can keep it until he comes. They won´t mind, don´t you think? I didn´t intend to steal it. Really! They won´t mind, won´t they? I´ll just keep it until they fetch it back." She was almost crying now, tears mingling in her eyes. "They won´t be angry with me! They won´t … right? Right?? _Right??!"_

"No …" he whispered, almost against his will. "No. Everything´s fine. They won´t be angry. Nobody will be angry with you."

It seemed to calm her and her face became empty once again and the frightening smile was back. She slipped the ring off and handed it to him. His hands were cold, like frozen and he nearly it it slip.

"Isn´t it beautiful …" he heard her whisper. "Look, there´s something engraved on the inside … See, I mustn´t read it … but I think they won´t mind if you do …"

The small silver band shimmered in his palm as he turned it around. There were tiny ornate letters engraved on the inside and at first he had diffiulties reading them in the dim light. 

There were only two words.

´_My Absolution´_

And finally Quatre felt that he was ready to cry now.

***********************

Epilogue

**14. 01. 199 AC (Earth)**

**(Sank Kingdom Cemetery)**

"Thank you for telling me." Trowa replied quietly. "Everything."

"You are the only one who knows it. I ... promised." Quatre starred down at the small grave in front of them. 

"Poor Heero …" he whispered softly. "I was so angry with him. I almost hated him for being so cruel towards Duo. I didn´t understand … 

But now I do. He was only trying to pay for his sins. Atonement."

"And so he sacrificed his own happiness … his most precious treasure," Trowa continued slowly. "Duo …"

"Watching Relena, making sure that nothing happened to her … " Quatre paused. "She reminded him, you know? He even told me once … how much she reminded him of that girl… 

And I didn´t understand then. I didn´t understand …

The saddest thing is … I know he loved her once. Heero really loved her. Not as much as he loved Duo … but he did. He cared for her and he loved her in his own way. And one day he must´ve started to hate her … because she was the one thing that kept them apart. Because he made her his atonement … 

Poor Duo. Poor Relena. And poor, stubborn, lonely Heero …"

"I think … Duo understood in the end, if that´s a comfort to you." 

Quatre nodded and wiped the tears away almost angrily.

"I know …"he answered. "That´s why I obeyed to his wishes and never told the truth. I knew and he knew that Heero would´ve wanted to protect her at all costs … no matter what … So Duo did everything within his power to grant this wish … and save her …" 

He tried to laugh but it sounded like a strangled sob.

 "I nearly had to buy the whole cemetery, so they let me put this on the tombstone. But he hated it so much, you know … living with a name that wasn´t his own … being someone … he really wasn´t … when all he wanted to be was with him …

Don´t you think … they would´ve wanted it this way …?"

Trowa was silent for a long time. Finally he bowed his head and nodded.

"It seems … appropriate." 

There were no names on the plain, grey stone and no dates. 

Only a single quote:

**_                                                    ´So, doff thy name. _**

**_                                  And for thy name which is not part of thee_**

**_                                                      take all myself.´_**

^Fin^

**Authors Note**: The quote at the end is from „Shakespeares Romeo and Juliet" in case you didn´t know… (not very likely, ne?) I just love it to death and thought it kinda fit.

Okay, this weird thingie was in my computer for really some time now and I never had the courage to post it somewhere. It´s just so weird – I´m kinda afraid, that no one will like it. 

Anyways –in case you didn´t hated it and it didn´t bore you to death … please drop me a note!

In case you want to flame me – go right ahead, I don´t mind. 

So: Like it? Hate it? Doesn´t matter – just tell me!

And if you want to help me to improve and get better, don´t forget to tell me **WHY you hated it, ´k? **


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